Ex Libris: Sealed Love Letters | Alchemist


To my dearest, darling alchemist, who can easily turn my calm red skies, into violent drapes of violets, I so very much like losing to you. 

Ex Libris translates to "From the Library of" 

Ex Libris, Sealed Love Letters, Alchemist

If I had said yes, then we'd have a single memory of my golden hair pooled on your lap, falling at your groin. I could just cry tears of pearls from the ache of being so close to you. Immediately after, slowly you would hold my dainty hands to your chest, and I would hold your hands to my cheeks. 

And not have to leave you with talks of slippers on our way back to my hotel. I'm in no hurry to forget. What the hell does moving on accomplish anyway? 

Have you seen that film where Cary Grant runs a newspaper business? He couldn't even have a honeymoon because he was so busy catching stories. It reminds me of you. It reminds me of how you work. And how you'd stay up late in the early mornings to finish all the editing you had to do. 

I missed playing with the handsome devil who taught me how to play cards. And I missed how you would cup my face after I lapped you up like holy water. 

Someday when a new lover finds its way to your arms, midsummer of next year most likely when the world has reverted to its familiar chaos, our senses heightened more than ever after the withering want of use, would she tremble at the touch of your velvet skin? Would she sigh after brushing against your bearded jaw as I did

If the heart were a map, you would occupy a city that would never be subjected to dissolution or desecrated by the imperialism of future lovers. There, my affections, dormant,  hidden, and hushed up could fill cathedrals without transcendence. 
Footnote: I feel really bad ranking my exes, but if have a magic mirror in my possession and I asked it, "Who does my heart want most?" I think this fifth letter answers that question. Sorry to everyone else who lost lol. Alternative titles (If I've thought of it first), would have been: (1) Book of Longings (2) Nothing Sacred ;)  and (3) Letters to Grant - because I'm all about the art of being subtle and if Nabokov can do it, I can do it (Letters to Vera). I also thought of "My Alchemist" but that would be untrue, and besides I don't want to set aside ten minutes of crying while listening to Richter's "Finale" every time I glance at the title while working on writing new posts. I am also under the impression that they have been reading these letters; - ; It's all very suspish. But if I see one more hint that they're reading this, I'm going to send them a dm: "hey, hey what are you doing, you're not supposed to read these letters until we're both ninety years old o:"  Also, the I like losing to you part, there's nothing deep about it. It was truly referring to the strip poker games we used to play. I should really leave a warning for the readers not to read the footnotes because I'm just going to make you disenchanted with my reactions. I'm so sorry; o ; But I mean, I guess it kinda does have an emotional overtone to it since everyone else seems to have the gift of "the art of moving on" while my left eye eternally sees the past and I can never seem to inhabit the present tense. The last thing I want to begrudgingly apologize for is all the water puns (because apparently, my type of men are water types) and just the big, glaring pun of ancient chemistry. Am I going to write a sixth letter? Probably not. Much like poems, all one can do is rewrite the same poem over and over again, only with a different face. But essentially, it all says the same thing. Besides, it wouldn't be a love letter anymore, but more like an act of worship if I keep on repeating these letters in concentric circles. From this perspective, I  can see why God doesn't want to relinquish his position as our sovereign. I know I wouldn't. 

Ex Libris, Sealed Love Letters, Alchemist

Postscript: Oh my god, I know what you're thinking, "this bitch has a footnote for her footnotes o:" I promise, after this, I really am, going to shut the fuck up.  So for my opening line, that kind of sky is actually called "Red sprites." If you watch one of my ig stories/highlights, you would have seen how excited I was that it was actually an actual natural phenomenon. Red sprites are "large-scale electrical discharges that occur high above thunderstorm clouds, or cumulonimbus, giving rise to a quite varied range of visual shapes flickering in the night sky - @CGdrawing." I was so stoked that sprites are basically another word for fairies and it ties in really well with my last letter from Vol III.  I chose red and purple because they are such a pretty pair and I thought it conveyed the intensity of emotions quite well based on their opulent hues. 


  1. Lovely post sweetheart 😘😘 Regards!

    1. Aww thanks so much, sugar xx ! I hope you're have a lovely night.



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