I had so much fun on New Year's Eve with my extended family! My aunt took pictures of us at the patio, but I don't know yet if my family is comfortable being featured on my blog, so I'm just waiting for their green light. And I'm still waiting for my aunt to drop it in the groupchat.

I didn't get to take a picture of Angus because he was hiding for the most part. Next time, I’ll catch him. And I didn't take a lot of pictures because I was too busy being embodied in the moment. I'm glad I was fully present. Professor Avery would be so proud. Charlie demanded me for more pets while we were doing our vision board, and it made me secretly proud c: It was the coziest New Year's Eve day ever. I love all the dogs napping around us in the living room, after we said what we're most proud of in 2025. I haven't felt like that since I was five, in the Philippines with my Grandpa Atanacio. It did feel like it was holiday magic. I hope this is a prelude for more magical days to come. And then we watched a Christmas episode of Murderville featuring Jason Bateman (who is clueless about the script while everyone else knows it; exactly me at Space Con 2024 ), "Who Killed Santa?" The naked Ginger dude was the funniest part (everyone was roaring with laughter), and the French interrogation scene as well. The Violette Sparkling Tea from Trader Joe's is something I'm going to hunt down next weekend. It was so good with the cinnamon bun. And the stories were also a lot of fun! I didn't chime in. I just love listening. Especially when Andy mentioned Okinawa and longevity because I loved the book written about it, and she loved the documentary made from it. Cousin June's house is so pretty, I wish I borrowed my dad's Ray-Ban glasses so I could study their interior designs. I saw a lot of opulent dark furniture, white blooms, and Zen warrior aesthetics. It was so aesthetically pleasing to be in their space. I'm really excited for our future Valentine crafting day! Everyone complimented Bill because he cooked and prepared everything. I didn’t know Chili was perfect for the cold weather. He even said the wine glass goes on the left when I was helping Andy set up the table. I forgot everything Uncle Guillaume taught me on how to set up the table in France lol. Mark makes conversations with me, but not a lot. I’m glad he doesn’t force me into talking, because I hate socializing lol. I’m so bad at it. I’m glad my family doesn’t force me to be less shy, and they just accept me as the quiet one. Especially when they were sharing stories about exes and Budapest. I guess it’s expected to contribute to dinner conversation, but they just let me be an introvert. Which is super nice. I didn’t feel like I had to perform to be included. I treasure this memory of family time before I head back to work. They let me have a seat at the table just as I am. Because back at work, it’s kind of hostile, minced with utter disrespect, and several occasions of passive-aggressive moments within my own department. Well, I say that, but it’s really 3/4 of my coworkers are actually nice within my department. So 75% not bad. What I don’t understand is if I uplift you and give you genuine gifts, you still think it’s all right to look down on me just because you don’t like the fact that I have family in Europe and France? That shit stressed me out so badly for the past six fucking months. And I’m stressed out with so much shit already, but I never treat anyone unkindly, unless boundaries are involved. That shit is getting called out permanently on my blog, because what the actual fuck? Maybe empathy skills does need to be taught, because not fucking everyone has it. Well, I’m done overextending myself. I’ll be polite and professionally distant. Once my warmth is gone, it’s gone forever.

κατατρώγω (katatrṓgō) | devorō | I devour | I remove what no longer belongs

There was this coffee book about dogs, and I love the page where it said, “Dogs don’t suddenly wake up and decide you’re unworthy of their love.” I liked it. It made me feel like Richard was in the room. I haven’t plucked out any of my white hairs lately because I want to match Richard’s white hair. Everything reminds me of Richard. I think about Richard and all the things that stress me out, just become so unimportant.

I took home a lot of the leftovers! Woo! I learned how to do a charcuterie board for the first time! You need to soak the olive first so that the crackers won't get soggy. Or you put them in a bowl! Deer Park was a little bit scary with all of the industrial parts and intense fires going on (or something looked like it was on fire). But we made it back before it got too dark!

I finished organizing and labeling my closet for the first time. It took exactly 11 hours. I finally found where my thermals and biking shorts were hiding. Grandma//Grand daugher cottage core playlist helped me get through it. Piledriver Waltz by Arctic Monkeys was definitely a mood while cleaning up. You look like you've been for breakfast at the Heartbreak Hotel. The top part of my closet still needs to be decluttered. They survived the chopping block for now. Hopefully, during Spring Cleaning, I'll have made up my mind by then, and then I can move Andy's stuff in. For now, I am happy staring at the giant grey boxes in my room. I don't know why. I guess it's because I love the color grey.

I made my own sea salt spray for beachy hair. It’s using my leftover of D’Alba Piedmont White Truffle Essence with Aloe Vera Gel, Pink Himalayan Salt, and Distilled water. The results are great so far, considering my hair tends to revert to being straight. The waves stayed much longer.

I rescued Mama Bear's plants when the temperature dropped to 30 degrees here. I wore my coastal grandma outfit while going in and out of the house: a brown puffy Nautica jacket, pink wool with chiffon and bead flowers embroidered, paired with my pale blue Snoopy fire-resistant pajamas, and rose gold metallic indoor slippers. I greeted 2026 with all the plants inside. It made the house extra cozy.

At Space Con, after the studio, Richard sounded like thunder when he said, "Sorry, I'm late!" AND everyone started clapping. And I'm looking at everyone like "Why? Why are you clapping? He's late! Who's clapping for someone when they're late? That's insane! He made us wait so long," but I felt like "When in Rome..." and I eventually started clapping, but then I shortened it because I had to text my aunt and uncle in France to let them know I met Richard before it was midnight there, and they all went to bed. Richard looked so sulky while he made his way back to the autograph booth. I didn't look at him directly because it felt like looking at a god, so I reverently tracked his footsteps, and he parted the curtain like such a diva, lol. And mentally I'm like, "Well, that was unnecessary and dramatic. Oh wait, he's an actor lol." I tried to steal a glance at him while I was sitting down at the side close to his table, but he got swarmed by his fans. I kept craning my neck until one fan finally noticed me, and he stepped to the side (because I was glaring so hard), and when I finally got a glimpse of Richard bent over a huge box, and I smiled so wide like I just finished drinking Grappa Amarone, and when Richard noticed my stare, he smiled back at me just as wide like he just won the lottery. I got nervous for no reason though, and I did a fast whiplash hiding on my mom's shoulder and I think Richard just ended up staring the pale pink ribon I was wearing. Then, we got up to get in line. It was a long line. When we finally reached him, he was joking with one of his fans saying "Oh, I get jumpy around my age!" and I'm like "Yeah, right. You don't move, think, or act like an old man. You just like inhabiting the role of an old man, but that's not you." I almost gave up my blue ticket for my mom because she couldn't find hers and the volunteer we ended up having was so strict about it (I even have it on my Apple Wallet - And she still wouldn't fucking accept it - what an asshole - and that's why I complained about the stupid VIP tickets so much in my Space Con post) . My mom produced her own ticket at the last second, and I don't know why Richard apeared to look like he just enjoying my mini-ticket dilemma. I guess I'm an open book and I don't conceal any microexpressions. It's so weird how stormy, and windy weather dredges up memories like this to the surface.

Fun idea: Stealing the lemon tarts from my dad's tin box.

I thought I knew where to travel this year, but I guess I'm just gonna go to Birmingham around the end of August. No spring travel plans yet, so it's open!