So Long, Mari! | My Mari

I wish I could go back in time and tell my Jacob that whether you're five or seventy-five, the person for you will recognize you. I don't know if we'll ever see each other again. Why am I being so dramatic? I literally parted with him only months ago lol. And our bond isn't that easily broken lol. There is no need to marry me. Aww, I miss my Jacob. I hope he never grows up to be any of the awful men I see everyday. 

SATURNIAN SONG RECOMMENDATIONS: ⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀✦ ⠀   ⠀✦ ⠀

• Her - American Dawn (If you don’t like me/Why’d you steal my heart?/ Don’t cry for me ever, baby do your thing/ The way you love me a little, lie and then / You love me a little more than I love you all over again/ And again and again and again and again / And again and again)
• (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons - Nat King Cole
• Leather Weather - The Neighborhood 
• Nasty Little Secret (Slowed) - ORGAVSM (And I can feel you’re getting closer, holding me softly, so lovely/ You’re always by my side, you’re the only one I have/ But there’s something different tonight/ Can you feel my heart racing?/ I’m feeling so hot and I know you want me/ Feeling a bit dizzy, tipsy/But I know you like it cause you’re shaking so much)
• Baby Shark (The Haunting 1950s Soul Version) - Daddy Shark So Strong So Kind/ Held my hand and the sun would shine/ But the tide took him away one one night / And the moon just watched me cry / Baby shark you still swim in my heart / I can hear you in a wave / Family of the Sea / Remember me / I grew old but the song remained / Echoed through my song unchanged / Every note of memory way / Every line a name I crave / The ocean’s cold but it’s home to me / Come home to me / I ain’t singing for the world to see / I’m singing to set me free / Some songs grow old but they never die 
• Saturn - SZA (1950s Vintage Cover Vibe) 
• Birds of Feather (Frank Sinatra x Billie Eilish) 

SATURNIAN TO-DO LIST: ⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀✦ ⠀   ⠀✦ ⠀

• BLAH BLAH BLAH the Belgian rat escapes. Before Covid, we were all planning on going to Belgium to try the “luxury” spas they own all over Europe, but now all of a sudden my aunt and grandma in California don’t fucking remember their address? When all I want to do is  to return the insulting gift they sent us years ago, when I was sixteen. My dad casually mentioned that he’s working on getting second car because my mom wants to start working too. And this Belgian guy says, “Let me help out” and he sent a “Rolls-Royce model” as a power/limp producer dick move. I was so confused when I was sixteen because in my head, I’m like  “Everything’s bigger and better in Texas” so when that guy sent a small, tiny fucking car, all I could think of was “Wow, this guy went out of his way from Belgium to show how tiny his generosity is, ergo this tiny car is his tiny dick in a manifested, physical form.”  And now that I’m planning on going to Dubai and Finland next summer (2026)  and I plan on returning the gift this fucker sent me, all of a sudden, no one fucking knows any of their addresses in Belgium. Huh 🤔 I forgot my family in California loves to worship and protect toxic white males like they’re sacred stolen relics in a museum because of whiteness proximity. Only my aunt in France actually produced what I wanted. She messaged me one of their business address. But she’s confused as to why I want to send him a gift so badly. And I’m over here like “Well, I’m so sad to hear that he’s alive, because last I heard, they couldn’t fucking meet us in Rome, because her poor husband choked on a Belgian waffle and died” while we were in Bordeaux. Uncle Guillaume would laugh and probably just tell me to sip red wine. He’s right though. I only started this Belgian war because I was bored during Scorpio season lol. Who wanna make bets that they all made a family group chat that said “What do we do about her?” 
• Watch a BonsaiPop video or listen to a BonsaiPop podcast. I miss Mike and Tyler and Devon. It’s been 7 years, but I miss them a lot. Mike would high five me when it came to the Belgian scandal lol. I should’ve fought for them harder when I split with boring Grant. The only reason why I stayed in that boring ass situationship is because I didn’t wanna lose my constellation of Mike, Tyler, and Devon. But they’re his friends, so I think I left quietly. If I could have a re-do, I’d fight for them like they’re my divorced kids. We’ll do a re-enactment at IKEA. “Tyler, eat your cereal honey, because after this argument we’re gonna dissect what the hell happened in Space Con 2024, because I’m still fucking confused as hell.” There was one livestream that stuck out to me even though it’s already probably been forgotten by everyone at the group. Mike loves to call me out for no reason. Like when I talk about my ex-girlfriend Chelsea. And he’d go “Yawn  🥱 you already said that” because I think he thought that I was doing the whole fake lesbian act just because men were around. So I shot back “Oh, oh, when you retell everyone your Casanova stories about how you fucked someone’s mom and daughter in the same one night and then set the church on fire, it’s okay,  BUT I’m not allowed to talk about MY ONLY ex-girlfriend HMMM???” Oh and you know what, let me cook harder. There was another incident were Mike didn’t like how I was complimenting Devon. I didn’t even hit on her. I just said “I liked your art Devon” and Mike’s like “OH, what do you like about her art?” And I just sheepishly said “I was actually just looking at her face.” Kinda like how I pretended to like wine for Maud 🫣. But you know what my actual INTJ mind wanted to say “I was looking at her jawline. That was the art I noticed on your fiancée. I like my girls sculptural and their sharp angles. I hate girls that looks soft” That would’ve ended my friendship with Mike then and there lol.  Ooo maybe I did say that and I got banned from the chat lol. Well, Mike I need you to un-ban me because you’re gonna need to sing a cover of As Lovers Go by Dashboard Confessional for my wedding. The Acoustic Version. The Dream Version. Anyway, I love Devon. The very first time I really developed a crush on her was when she would let Mike go on about his ex-girlfriend stories while she quietly makes art in the room next door. I thought “Wow, I wish  could have someone in the future who loves me like that.” Because if Richard were to go on Twitch bragging about his 80s lifestyle I would’ve murdered him during livestream. But Devon is calm. She knew I had a brain crush on Mike and she wasn’t insecure about it. She knew it was platonic. Mike to me was what Hermes is to Athena. Pure intellect sparring. If we were all brains inside a tube, we’d still have fun being hyper and arguing like little kids and I’d like to think Devon would just water all of us and then continue to create art in the next room while we create utter chaos. Mike thinks fast and talks fast. But I process things deeply. So while I appear slower, when I do speak, it lands. I trust Mike and Tyler and Devon to accept Richard. They wouldn’t judge his age. They’ll treat him like he’s one of us. Oh, but Mike would be the death of me. He’ll probably make a merch that says “Richard Daddy Anderson” 🙄 😒 😡 They would roast me about Space Con 2024 endlessly. Mike would  say “You had a Silver Fox with TWO RED Hearts like in the Bachelorette and you let him go??? What were you afraid of??? FINANCIAL SECURITY???” But deep down, I know he knows that I don’t go for looks, fame, or wealth (Richard checked all three boxes), but I go for character (Richard also checked this box). And Tyler would say “You said ‘Thank you’ to the love for your life like you’re walking out of CVS with a receipt???”  I’ll never hear the end of it. Mike would probably say “THEN I’LL MARRY RICHARD!”
• Soft punch Uncle Guillaume in the nose. I was jet lagged so I didn’t understand what he was doing at the time. He wanted me to take off my Darth Vader shirt in front of Nicolas! Okay first of all, Nicolas had no fucking swimming pool in his house. Why the fuck would I take off a shirt that I paid $60 for????!!! Just because your son is a surfer??? Excuse me???” Now if Maud was there it would’ve been a different story. I would’ve ripped that shirt in half to reveal the lilac bikini underneath. And come up with a stupid line like “I chose this lilac bikini because it makes me think of wine. Lilac is the color of the aftertaste of wine - not burgundy.” Yeah, I would’ve come up with a romantic shit on the spot! And if she doesn’t like Star Wars? I would’ve blamed Nicolas for the Vader shirt. I would’ve said “Oh this??? This isn’t even mine! It’s Nicolas’ shirt. I’m not a nerd.” But if she knows about my IG account, I would’ve denied everything and  been like “My account was hacked. See everything is Pilates and Cleavage. There is no way in hell I posted all those Vader merch in there 🤫.” But if Maud likes Jedi, I might cry. I need a Sith girl. You know another episode where Uncle Guillaume tried to frame me under a romantic lens? The little chase scene at the garage with the CEO Richard. I was not prey at that moment. There were two apex sharks there. The CEO Richard and me. But Uncle Guillaume is just tapping on the Aquarium glass thinking “Aww they’re in love 🥰 ” Wrong! I was the victorious shark because I reached the fucking elevator first and he didn’t get on it with us, because that was my fucking territory. And he just smirked to mask his defeat. 
• Go to the Thanksgiving Dinner at 2 PM to hangout with my aunt and extended cousins. My cousins married white men too but they are so nice and genuine unlike that Belgian trash 
• Finish my lesson rehearsal and grades because I’m behind with grading | Professor Avery would laugh because I told him I wanted to be just like him instead of being a research analyst like he wanted me to be. | He’d tell me “And that’s what happens when you don’t listen to your teacher. Now you’re dealing with grades!” But as affectionate teasing
• Try to have time for my journaling hobby??? I bought new materials but I don’t even have time to play with them because my PTO is already half way done. Why is it already Thursday??? I only had time to bed rot and fold laundry???
• Finish the other blog posts??? This one’s barely even done
• Catch up with my girls??? Negative. I liked some of their posts but I just don’t feel like using IG lately. But I do have new outfit coordinates I want to post. 
• Flea meds for Magnum and Shiv
• Say hi to Ollie (The grey cat the got lost in our garden; we returned her to her mom)
• Make more reels about Whataburger’s Prickly Pear Whatafresher | I think the girlies are liking it!
• Cuddle with my Schonik Snoopy. Look at how devilishly red he is. He looks like he’s plotting to take down the Red Baron. 

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Created by @syifafh on discord 

The ocean is boring without sharks. And surfers would lose their appeal without sharks swimming around. Welcome to my rebirth party! 

Love, 

Your Favorite Saturn Shark (🦈 who briefly went into Tonic Imbalance mode), 

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 ✦ Ana Luisa NY: Kelly Necklace Review | Ambassador Liaison | Discount code included 

 ✦ Hello there, May 

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