26 Things I learned in 26 Years


Disclaimer: Contains explicit language. I try to translate my raw experiences as accurately as I can and sometimes that isn’t possible without strong language. 

1) When he breaks your heart, he’s literally telling you to suck someone else’s dick. That he has a trash dick. Suck his friend’s dick. Suck anyone else’s dick. But don’t ever suck his dick again. Girls win this game all the time, trust me.  In case you’re wondering, his repeated behavior of being a dick to you for the weeks before leading up to the break-up, translates to exactly him being undesirable and an unattractive partner to keep around. And that’s directly coming from him. 

2) Friends that you keep for a long time, don’t stay with you for a long time. Meaning, you can be friends at some point in your life and you always think they’re going to stick around for the rest of your life, but the truth is, more likely than not, they start to end things unilaterally. All your effort to check up on them and be there for them during their times of crisis becomes very much one-sided.  In the meantime, they can easily brush you off, without explicitly telling you to fuck off. Don’t keep those friends. Cut those ties, and never look back. You’ll bloom and you won’t even give them being unkind to you, a second thought. 

3) Your mom is your best friend and hero all rolled in one. You may head butt a little, but she’s like the bat mom that’s always there when you light up your bat distress signal (actually even before you do so). A simple hug from your mom is like a free release of oxytocin and she makes everything better in an instant. Make more memories with her. 

4) There is going to be a point in your life whether you’re 19 or 23 where you are just constantly thirsting for a dick appointment. It’s ok. You’ll get to the point aka 26, where you’ll find that there a lot of other things that are just as important as romance. Wait till you get there.  

5) Keep being strong-willed. Be that person who would cling to life. Your soul may be battered, but it’s not weak. 

6) Stay soft. Being kind and forgiving is the best crown you could wear. 

7) Make up sex and break up sex are not as steamy as they make it out to be on the movies. In fact, it’s the complete opposite of when you couldn’t get enough of each other. If you don’t believe me, just go check r/ask-men on Reddit when they talk about love dying in a relationship. 

8) When I was five years old, my grandpa would tell me that I’d stop being scared once I get older. My grandpa said this to me so that I’ll grow up to be tough. But I’m still scared every time I see horror film previews lol. I learned that it’s ok to be scared. We’re biologically wired to do so for self-preservation. 

9) It’s ok to be lost in your twenties. I graduated 3 years ago and pursued a completely different job from my major. Then I became unemployed for a year and a half. I was completely depressed, demotivated, and felt like I don’t deserve anything nice to happen to me. But now, I found that I’m relentlessly pursuing a self-employed career that I’m more than happy to lose sleep on while at the same time having a backup plan. I get excited to wake up every morning now, with so many content creations floating in my head all the time. So,  I guess if I could write a letter to my younger self, it would be just one word: Stay. 

10) You learn to not take things personally anymore as you get older. It’s an amazing feeling to not have your emotions control you. Rather, you control how you respond or do not respond at all to unpleasant situations. 

11) It’s okay to be angry at the news and it’s also okay to turn off the news. I used to get shit on so much by ‘social justice warriors’ because I wouldn’t retweet or share some things on my timeline. If you’ve been constantly flooded and bombarded by negative shit on your timeline, especially if it triggers you e.g. rape, it’s definitely okay to step back. No one tells you how to take care of your mental health. Don’t let ANYONE guilt trip you into doing something especially on how you take care of yourself. They don’t have the fucking prerogative nor the license to do that. You do you, sweet cakes. And when you’re ready to tackle how unfair our reality is, you can re-join the social justice warriors. I guess this point is mostly directed towards social justice warriors. If someone is tired or weary from a battle (figuratively, emotionally, and historically speaking), you allow them to retreat and let them rest before another fight don’t you? 

12) Sexual assault statistics are 100% accurate. The fact that it can be done by close people around you is also a 100% true. Three years ago, a friend from high school whom I trusted to not do anything to hurt me, actually premeditated on how to take advantage of me and my vulnerability at the time (a bad break up).  He tried to drag me at the bathroom of a bar at around 2 AM to get his ‘fix’. I had to shower twice after getting home safely. And I couldn’t wear the clothes and shoes that I liked anymore that I wore that night because of that awful memory. Had to toss them away. I narrowly avoided the sexual assault but trauma is still here with me to this day. 

13) Trust your gut instincts. 

14)  Don’t feel bad about the years that were taken from you by mental illness. I had Depression, PTSD, anxiety, and paranoia during my teen years and even uni years. I could have been more productive. I could have been a stellar student. But I just got labeled as lazy and selfish. Boyfriends and friends and teachers looked down on me. I couldn’t even begin to understand why I couldn’t do as well as the others. I was an okay student. I got good grades. But I didn’t go beyond it. I didn’t join clubs or volunteered. I think it was only around 2014 when Depression and other mental illnesses finally found platforms where it could be heard: Tumblr, Twitter, and YouTube. A lot of people posted a lot of ‘Self-Care Ideas’ & ‘MasterPosts’ and so many other resources on what to do when you have a ‘bad day’ or even make videos on how they used to struggle before. They were all very inspiring and heartwarming.   I honestly think that that was the point in my life when I started to heal and treat my mental illnesses. 

15)  The Law of Attraction and ‘Abundance’ mentality and Gratitude walks were mental exercises that I first heard from Mimi Ikonn and Alex Ikonn. I use them every day now and I’m so happy I stumbled upon them because they are honestly like a second set of parents to me lol! If you haven’t heard of them they are two very amazing and inspiring public figures. I highly recommend watching their YouTube channel. 

16) Every heart breaks get easier than the one before. Especially when you listen to all of Taylor Swift’s albums three days in a row. Instant healing injected into your bloodstream. Highly recommend my favorite album, 1989. 

17) Psychosomatic issues or anything frustrating life throws your way, you are definitely going to emerge as a victor out of. Nothing is ever over, not until you’re dead. 

18) Films can understand you more than a friend ever could. Daniel Craig’s ‘SkyFall’ is always my go-to movie when I don’t feel like existing anymore. I know that sounds heavy, but it’s honestly so true. I don’t know how movies do it. But I only know that they are made of magic to be able to do something like that. Also,  you can’t go wrong with watching ‘Anna Karenina’ and ‘Pride and Prejudice’ on a rainy day. 

19) Boundaries are super important. Establish them. Make sure no one tries to dismantle them. 

20) File your nails every week as well as exfoliate once a week. Your nails don’t grow too long that they break and you get sad. Plus, if you remember to exfoliate once a week, you stay glowin’

21) You eventually make a transition to a healthier lifestyle as you get older. You don’t completely break up with junk food (that’s insane), but you do start to make room for more veggies and fruits on your plate. Bee tee dubs,  The Berry family is amazing. Blueberries, Strawberries, and raspberries are full of anti-oxidants and they’re good for you. Also, Okra juice and making a green smoothie with brown sugar makes you feel like you’re doing something right with your adulting life. It’s a nice feeling is all I can say. 

22) It’s okay to like ‘childish’ stuff. They’re not cartoons to me. Animation is one amazing medium. And is valid just as films, books, podcasts, raves, and other entertainment forms are. I still like all my stuffed animals and video games. It’s a part of who I am. And I only feel slightly amused when friends and family tease me for it. 

23) Small boobs don’t make you ugly. It means you’re a real-life Disney Princess. That being said, I support all women no matter what their body frames are. 

24) I love olives and raisin cookies. RIP 5 year old me. I like them now and I ain’t turning back. 

25) Matcha and Double shot espressos are like the perfect pair plucked from the heavens. But please don’t consume too much of it 21 and 23 year old me. It will really fuck up your sleep schedule. 

26) There are never too many selfies to take. We only get to rent these hot and youthful bodies during our twenties, thirties, and forties. I sure as hell would take a lot of photos to remember them by. 

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