Shibuyala Haul

7/08/2021

 

Don't you just hate it when you open up a post you've worked hard on, have the links and graphics and everything set up and you just end up staring at it blankly? Lately, that's how it's been with blogging. So if you ever stopped by and noticed that I kept adding more texts as the days go on, it's because I've been feeling overwhelmed with blogging recently. I can't seem to jump back on it as easily as I did before. I thought by now I'd get back to the rhythm of blogging after a long hiatus, but I am still adjusting. 

So every year, I do an annual haul at Shibuyala every summer to check out new stuff. I'm nearly out of my egg white cleanser, so I went ahead and decided to pick up a different kind of cleanser at Shibuyala instead just to try something different. I was originally going to pick up a water-based sunscreen for my mom, but they were out of stock. The same thing keeps happening online too. What sucks is that the store is pretty small, and I thought I had everything memorized where everything is, but they kept changing shit around ): Sunscreens were supposed to be at the back but now they were placed at the middle section towards the right windows ): So I kept lingering in the store longer than expected. At least the luxury items were still where they were last year: Left side near the register. 

A little story time while I got stuck in there: It's gonna look like a weird flex, but I promise you, it's not. It's going to be about therapy. So there's this couple that was there at the same time as me. I'm assuming they're a couple because they were acting all cutesy and shit. I was minding my own damn business, trying to find where the fuck they placed the sunscreens so I can get the fuck outta there. While I'm wandering down the aisles, I could hear the girlfriend asking where the boyfriend was and kept calling out his name, and I thought, "Oh, they're playing hide and seek inside the store, that's kinda cute I guess" and turns out this whole time this dude was following me the whole entire fucking time. He kept blocking me every time I would try to look at the shelves to see if I could spot any sunscreens. 

I was wearing a pair of sunglasses with a mask. I was pretty much glaring at this dude, but he couldn't see it. Which I guess was kind of a good thing because, hey this bitch be a straight-up psychopath and murder me for not being flattered that he was paying attention to me instead of his girlfriend. Props to this dude though for having the sense of shame and hiding this kind of bullshit in front of her. My ex from 2017 would have the fucking nerve to do it in front of my face. Flirting with other girls while I was right there. I'm surprised I didn't murder this ex right after the break-up. I truly am. Anyway, eventually this dude let up after I started talking to the sales girl to help me look for the sunscreens. But wow, this dude would not leave me alone until I acknowledged his presence by staring at him. The speech bubble in my head was "Get the fuck outta the way," but my face was on neutral of course because this guy could be unhinged. Pretty sure I had to ignore this dickhead at least seven times D:

So circling back to therapy. I went to my first therapy session since the whole pandemic thing started that same morning. I made a list of topics I wanted to discuss for our 45-minute session earlier that morning. One of them being triggered by exes being emotionally abusive. So after listening to my rant she told me one very specific thing that stood out to me: "You can be triggered, but you need to remember, you can take care of yourself." It doesn't mean impulsive shopping. It means you can do something that costs $0 to stop you from unraveling. It could be something as simple as a breathing exercise or a five-minute meditation. 

After this fucked up event, from the store, I noticed a pattern. Every time something triggers me, I would destroy any creative project I've worked on. I erase or destroy anything I've worked on because that's the closest thing I can get to self-mutilation. I had like three to four meltdowns this year from emotional build-ups this year. I'm honestly kind of surprised and kind of proud that I haven't destroyed my love letters. I'm glad I haven't. I could have easily erased everything just from being triggered by one insignificant event. Imagine that. Reacting to one insignificant event. Now, why the fuck would anyone do that? Would you do that?

Moral of the story: Go to therapy, if it's a resource that's available to you. Not many are very lucky. It's nice to have a professional sounding board to help you sort through your issues. 

Back to the haul: Only got a couple of things. I got Mama Bear an SK-II emulsion to go with her SK-II toner that I got her for her birthday. The foaming cleanser used to be only $7 like five years ago, but now the price is doubled ): It's $14 everywhere, even online. 

I have another therapy session tomorrow morning. I can't wait to show off and tell her that I used a tool from my utility belt to stop myself from spiraling :3 I wish I coulda seen my face during the trigger moment, staring up the ceiling, asking the universe: YOU WANT ME TO APPLY WHAT I LEARNED FROM THERAPY, RIGHT NOW? UGHHHHH O: Lol. Also had to retype this whole story because Blogger is being a little bitch when it comes to copying and pasting stuff from the TextEdit document o:








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2 comments

  1. I've seen that foaming cleanser everywhere. Is this like a sign for me to try it? Haha! I love the packaging though, it's cute and it's pink! xx

    lenne | lennezulkiflly.com

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    Replies
    1. Hey Lenne! I've been seeing it everywhere too haha! Finally caved in to buy it now that my old cleanser is nearly empty. I heard good things about it from Tina Tanaka Harris on her video comparing the different versions of the Senka Perfect Whip. She said she liked the Collagen version the best compared to the Original and White Clay xx I hope you're having a lovely morning <3

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