Hey dad. Not my biological dad, but my cosmic dad, Saturn. I’m sorry I said “I’m so sick and tired of being ruled by Saturn” in my last post (See Spring 2025). You gave me pneumonia for even breathing those words lol. I think I learned my lesson. And it wasn’t just any lesson. It was a holy lesson. It’s all good. I’m sorry I couldn’t properly greet you “Happy Father’s Day” during Gemini season. I was kind of out of breath lol.
Oh, but I love my dad Saturn. He knows me so well. He protects his legacy fiercely. I enjoy our karmic feasts, when you beg me to trust you that you see everything and that you are much better at scheming than I am. Every wrong, returned. I don’t even have to lift a finger. Thanks, dad. For always having my back.
For my Saturnian Spine. For tempering me with years of isolation and loneliness so that when I stand alone, and I’m the last one standing, I get to tell you “We did it!” And you’ll shout right back “All you!”
My biological dad sort of mirrors Saturn. I remember him being so proud of me with my restraint when I was five years old and I didn’t give into temptation of eating junk food (Every time my parents were fighting, we get to go to my dad’s best friend’s (my godfather) multi-millionaire house and I’d get spoiled like crazy —- It was my childhood dream for my parents to divorce every time they had a fight lol). I hovered around the junk food, but I politely declined it when my dad’s guy friends tried to tempt me with it. I just told them “My mom doesn’t let me. I don’t want her to be sad.” My dad read it as emotional maturity. When in truth, I just didn’t want my ass to get beaten up by my mom lol.
When I hovered that night, I wanted to hold temptation’s hand. It felt like I would burn and melt at the same time. So I didn’t. I hovered. Like it was too holy for me to touch.
Saturn knows. He knows when I’m in a romantic mood, I watch The Godfather (1972). And when I’m in a violent mood I watch Casablanca (1942) because Rick doesn’t get the girl.
I don’t know where to take Vader next. Maybe Germany. Because Vader is German for “father.” And we can watch the pink cherry blossoms together. It was only pale white in DC. We’ll probably go twice. One in Mid May and back again at the end of May for Gemini season. Because my grandpa Atanacio was born during Gemini season.
Actually, I just wanted to sit on someone’s lap.
I guess I’ll ask Saint Nicolas (Good, old, Saint Nick) for that as my early Christmas present and birthday gift: “Hey, I don’t want to sit on your lap. I want to sit on somebody else’s lap. In Germany.”
Oh, Cosmic Father, (Devourer of Time), I’m coming back home to Saturn. I hope you approve.
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