Table of Contents: If I missed something, I’ll come back and edit it later. The common cold is kicking my ass right now.
I. Sirens
II. Eternal and Sovereign
III. Copycat
IV. Minneapolis (Land of 10,000 Lakes)
V. Taunting ways
When Richard was in his thirties, he would answer every siren call. I think he did it with so he wouldn’t break under Saturn’s rule. Venus came to his rescue and watched over him. Until he can turn into Saturn himself. He was wild like you. Untameable like the ocean. Always looking for a new horizon. Commanding and territorial. He mirrors the sea’s strength.
He didn’t gain gravitas and depth until he reached his seventies. That’s when he evolved. Not just looking like a god from Olympus, but carrying that roi-energy that should be paired with it. The ox-blood wine that’s found its anchor and harbor. Now, Saturn has shaped him: eternal and sovereign.
Nicolas is copying me! Did you see him surfing in the Atlantic Ocean under my colors?! He has a new surfboard that gradients from lilac, faded pink to, hot pink. That’s my palette! First he copies Richard’s face and now he’s copying me. Unacceptable! And we’re the same person since me and Richard are twin flames. Nicolas should stop right now! Why don’t you send another dolphin that looks like a shark when Nicolas surfs again, haha. Why am I so mean to my cousin? Uncle Guillaume would throw another tantrum. He would say, « Nicolas, let you stay in two of his houses while you were in France! Americans are so ungrateful! » Haha, I am thankful to Nicolas because he led me to Richard. I just miss messing with my family and bullying them a little. You know, typical family bonding time. Speaking of bullying, Nicolas looks older than Richard when I compare both of their pictures in their thirties. Nicolas has five wrinkles on his forehead but young Richard doesn’t have a single one. Nicolas reminds me of an English bulldog with all the lines in his face. I thought surfers were supposed to be chill. I guess Richard couldn’t easily be toppled by annoying producers at the time. I mean he was more French in his thirties I guess with all the liaisons he used for stress-relief.
You should change your name to Minneapolis. It means the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Since you lost to Athena. The first King of Greece named the capital after her for her humble and practical gift. I don’t know why you thought saltwater was gonna do it for the Greeks. And that’s why people say they just came back from Athens, not Poseidonia lol. Let me play nice. You might send a hurricane my way.
Who is the god of getting laid? Sometimes I think it’s Ares and Venus together for lust and magnetism. Then there’s Zeus just taking whatever the fuck he wants. I’m not praying to him to get laid since I already challenged him and Hermes (Let’s see if I can talk my way to your bed) together. Now my life gets harder every Wednesday and Thursday since they both rule those days. So, I’m praying to you. Bless my playlists so that I can get railed in the future by Richard while they play in the background. Here’s hoping Poseidon gets the gift of gods right this time. In return, I offer to stop my taunting ways. I mean I’ll definitely come back and talk smack once I’m with Richard. Because then I can hide behind him. He’s so tall (not just in height, but in myth) so he should be easier to strike. It’ll be harder for you to hit a smaller target.
Did you know? Richard is actually 25 years old. It’s his third time being 25. So, our age gap isn’t actually 43 years. It’s eight years since I’m about to turn 33. Oh, but I need to hide Richard from Leonardo di Caprio since the internet rumor is that he only dates 25 year olds. And Richard is tall like a model, so that’s already two of the things he’s looking for. If Leonardo ever invites Richard to his yacht, why don’t you splash it a little? And then smite it later if he doesn’t back off from Richard. He’s mine, mine, mine. You’d know how I feel too if someone tries to take Amphitrite from you.
P.S. I’m so glad digital love letters exist. Because imagine handing this love letter covered in snots. Richard would be like « Ew, I don’t want this.»
Love your favorite stressed out shark, 🦈
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