Table of Contents: I made three sets of 2025 Year Recaps because I couldn't decide on one structure.

I. Hermes' Year

II. West Coast

III. Alliance

IV. Faux Abs

V. Right in the Cervix

VI. Saturn and The Container Store

VII. Cherry Pies and Chess

VIII. 33rd Birthday

IX. 10 Years of Blogging

X. French Dressing and Creamer

I wanted to say thank you to Hermes for these two messages: (1) I speak the Language of Desire fluently this whole time, and (2) the Art of Discernment was within me all along. Ever the trickster. I love you.

I thought I kept missing deadlines, and that I'm such an awful adult human being, but no. It's this fucked up State that keeps moving the goal post. I'm gonna look for another state that isn't fucked up as this. And would actually sponsor me for all my efforts. One day, I'll be a director too of my own unit. But for now, I'm enjoying the quiet feedback that everyone likes my management style.

I just realized, I don't like the word marriage. I would rather use the word alliance. Because Richard can choose not to close this courtship ritual, and he can choose to abandon this alliance, but I won't abandon myself. I will still be the last one standing.

I'm really gonna do it this year. No drawing of fake abs with my waterproof bronzer cream stick. I'm gonna do push ups everyday, where you just touch your shoulder. No equipment for by abs year. I thought I ate with my "Hello There, Snoopy" and my "Vader greets the Emperor" posts. I thought I had abs for real. I thought it was peeking out during my photo op with Palpatine. But it's just my rib cage sticking out. Or the shadows of my rib cage? How the hell did I get an A in anatomy? I need to retake that class. It's just me and my fake abs against the world ; o ; Love isn't the last illusion we let go of when we enter 2026, to restore the new order. It's my fake abs I need to shed before we enter the year of our lord 2026.

Richard shoved the autographed red hearts so violently towards me. I don't even know what I said or did that triggered him to do that. I felt it right in the cervix. I am not responsible for regulating your emotions. So, I tried to shake his hands so we could part as friends, and just when I was about to take it, I just walked away. I'm like, "Oh, I forgot this man hates me and we barely just met." Oh, and I wanted to punch him in the jaw for touching my elbow at the studio and he was just smirking with a glint in his eye especially when I established a boundary with a creepy fan. He looked like he was enjoying an exteded French dinner before saying how "lovely" I was. Didn't you just see me be terrifying five seconds ago???

Richard tried to make it up to me by extending the moment, but turned his back on me and retreated from my hug as I stepped forward toward him! And I just stood there watching his neck and grey hair as he hunched over the autograph with me looking stupid as hell. It's a memory loop that won't close. Saturn would tell me to contain my emotions and not let them leak. Cosmic Father, you would love the hell out of The Container Store.

Two new hobbies for 2026: I want to travel within my continent, and just drive to find the best cherry pie in every state. I don't know why I'm becoming obsessed with cherry pie. I'm even thinking about bringing my own grey notebook with my initials to start my food critic rating chart. And instead of buying more video games (Lord knows how long it's been since I charged my Nintendo Switch), I have decided I want to play analog games. I'm going to learn how to play chess. Not to win, but just to understand it better. In my head, I see it as an entire Pantheon board. Hera, as the queen, can move everywhere. Zeus is contained for once into one square (No nymphs chasing for you, sir). Ares is the chaotic knight who likes to be in the center of the board. Athena is the bishop with long-range strategic warfare. And then there's Hermes. My favorite. He commands the pawns who can turn into a powerful piece once they've breached enemy lines. Prometheus, as the rook, because he's forward-thinking and protects the king even though he doesn't deserve it. That's the white set. For the black set, it's the Titans. Saturn is the rook - exacting and judging everyone from the corner of the board. There's Oceanus as the knight because he's as unpredictable as waves breaking the shore. Mnesymone is the bishop. And the pawns are the lovely nymphs who advance (expendable, sure if you want to see it that way), but those that endure like Saturn become goddesses. Then there's Hades and Persephone as equal rulers. One is still. One is in motion. Like Hestia and Hermes in an eternal dance.

My favorite gift(s) for my birthday: Pear and cherry pies and shrimp & corn chowder, rotisserie chicken (for me and the stray cat gang) from Mama Bear delivered to my doorstep while she's up North | Armoire with dresses, Light up Greenhouse, an intricate birthday card, and lemon pastries with m&m reindeer pretzels from my aunt Judy (I'm so happy she doesn't live in Chicago anymore!) | My cousin Andy let me choose from her stylish wardrobe and delivered it to me in a giant grey box. I loved the grey coats and blue dresses the most | My cousin June got me work snacks and cute hair clips I didn't get to spot during my hunts, and I love them | Gift(s) to myself: Black and Gold diver figurine (He also looks like a NASA astronaut from the front), The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli (In both Audible and hardbound copy), new bras from Cherries - the grey one is my favorite; I did pick up quite a few other things but it was my first time actually celebrating my entire birth month like an Advent calendar (I still haven't caved in with actual advent calendars because I don't like suprises lol). 33 collapses into 6, which is The Lovers in Tarot.

My favorite Christmas gift(s) from my kids: Bronze Swan jewelry dish, Gingham Gorgeous lotion (pink strawberries, peach nectar, and peony blooms) | Pale pink pencil case with ribbons all around it & it came with pastel gel pens | I used to get a lot of gift cards but I must say, it feels so nice to receive analog, actual tangible items for Christmas | I don't know how to explain it but it's just so thoughtful that they anticipated what they think I'd like and they respect my art, that's what matters more.

My favorite small moments of 2025: End of June, when I realized what actually happened in Space Con 2024 | NOLA & Destin | My Pantheon Posts Series | This girl that I follow on Youtube found her beloved "Sardine bag" after months of hunting and looking everywhere, crossing state lines. And she gave her speech about never giving up and we all cried. Any moments with my cats, parents, brother bear, and my extended family xx

There's very minimal winter decor this year. I only wanted my blue, silver-haired Nutcracker (Richard-coded) guarding the heavy front doors. I have a mini silver Christmas tree and mini Christmas town with raspberry cookies inside as actual Saturnalia decor lol. I need to look for my thermals. I am so cooked for January and my return to Austin if I dont' organize my closet before New Year's Eve.

Next year, in 2026, is officially my 10th anniversary of returning to blogging (without dismantling it at any point). I'm going to open the Chandon Brut Rosé that my sweet co-worker got for me as a Christmas gift to celebrate.

During Christmas Dinner, my aunt and cousin-in-law were saying how good the salad was because of the French dressing. And I'm over here all quiet, because I forgot grab the dressing. How barbaric of me. But the salad was solid on its own without the dressing. The cucumbers were so crispy, and the angel cherries had the right amoutn of sharpness, and the cilantro and avocado made it rich and balanced. However, I tried the dressing afterwards (at home, yay leftover party!), and it was good, but not as good as I had hoped. I prefer classic American Ranch. Ooo, what does that say about me? I hope Mike never finds this blog. He's gonna torture me for having a crush on Richard. Wait, Richard has a crush on me. That's embarrassing. Mutual embarrassment for the win.

I can't wait for New Year's Eve. I'm gonna hang out with my extended family again. It's a part of my state I've never been to before.